The Family, Bearer of the Covenant

In contrast to priestly and monastic spirituality, little has been said in Christian history on the spirituality of the family. There have been relatively few distinctive models of holiness for married couples raising children to draw upon. Until recently, the vast majority of canonized saints were celibate religious.

Yet ironically, the spirituality of family is the primordial spirituality of God's people. From Genesis on, Scripture teaches that God relates to human beings in the family and as a family. The very first blessing and commandment have to do with the family: God blessed them, and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth' (Gn 1:28). God's blessing is then passed down through the generations through the custom of parents blessing their children (Gn 27:25; 48:9).

When God began to form a chosen people, he made a covenant with Abraham not as an isolated individual but as a husband and father whose whole family was blessed along with him. God said of Sarah, I will bless her, and moreover I will give you a son by her; . . . she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall come from her (Gn 17:16). The family becomes the bearer of the covenant, the setting in which the covenant with God is concretely experienced and lived, and by which it endures through history.

Thus God continually commands parents to teach their children the ways of the Lord. These words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children (Dt 6:6-7). The teaching is not only in words but in gestures and rituals that deeply form the heart of the child.

The central liturgy of Israel, the Passover, took place not in the temple but the home, and this ritual was to be a teachable moment. When your children say to you, What do you mean by this service?' you shall say, It is the sacrifice of the Lord's passover, for he passed over the houses of the people of Israel in Egypt, when he slew the Egyptians but spared our houses' (Ex 12:26-27). Children learn that it was not only their remote ancestors who experienced the Lord's mighty act of redemption but they, themselves. They, themselves, are parties to the covenant.

Likewise, the visible signs commemorating God's great deeds, such as the memorial stones set up at the Jordan River, are an occasion for catechizing children in the covenant: When your children ask in time to come, What do those stones mean to you?' Then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD, when it passed over the Jordan (Jos 4:6-7).

In the biblical wisdom literature, wisdom is passed on not in an academic environment but in the family, from mothers and fathers to their children. Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and reject not your mother's teaching (Prv 1:8, cf. 31:1; Sir 3:2).

Through the prophet Malachi, God warns that the breakdown of the family is a grave matter because it impairs the ability of the next generation to live as God's holy people: What does [God] desire? Godly offspring. So take heed to yourselves, and let none be faithless to the wife of his youth. For I hate divorce, says the Lord the God of Israel' (Mal 2:15-16).

As the Church today reflects on the pastoral care of family, we must rediscover this biblical wisdom concerning the centrality of the family in God's plan.